


Before I Love You

by orphan_account



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Crushing, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Kitten, M/M, MOAuthorSECRETSANTA2019, Teen Romance, Temporary Character Death, huh, imagine your character temporarily dead, mutual crush, newspaper club, that's why this whole story is a bluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22017181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's been 7 years, and Taehyun still couldn't forget or forgive himself. So out of all the years missing Yeonjun, he makes a wish.=============================Written as an entry for MOAuthor SECRET SANTA 2019.
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 15
Kudos: 100





	Before I Love You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [godtyun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/godtyun/gifts).



> Prompt: Taehyun getting to go back in time and change something bad that happened in their past with Yeonjun.
> 
> Honestly, Lex. This is such a wonderful prompt but I totally messed it up.  
> I'm sorry.
> 
> Some age info:  
> Beomgyu and Jimin are in their third year as in Yeonjun, Soobin & Wooyoung.  
> No, this is not BTS Jimin. This is Lim Jimin, which I believe a good friend of Beomgyu.
> 
> Heavily inspired from this:  
> The Chainsmokers -[Take Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgpMP5SfMJM)

_“Hyung, how does one forgive himself?”_

* * *

Taehyun sits in his cubicle, setting aside his strawberry macchiato and powering on his laptop, eager to start his writing for the day when his phone goes off with a faint chirp. Blindly reaching out for it, he darts his eyes down from the current document he is working on to the notification panel over his phone screen and briefly scans the message.

**Hueningie:**

Are you coming this Saturday, Hyun?

For the tenth time, he isn’t going.

And for the nth time as well, he’s choosing to leave the text without any reply as Taehyun pushes his phone back to its initial position and sets his posture straighter on the chair. His fingers are itchy with words, ready to bleed them all over the white, blank pages of his document and he’s already hovering them over the keyboard when a head pokes over his cubicle. Taehyun is disturbed by way-too-big grin flashing at him.

“Mr. Kang, boss is lookin’ for ya,” Lee Chaeryeong, his cubicle neighbor informs the moment Taehyun lifts his eyes. He doesn’t say anything back, simply responding to her grin with a blank stare because he honestly doesn’t know what this lady is doing half of the time. Well, make that _all_ the time.

She’s supposed to be a review journalist, same as him (and Taehyun figures that’s also why they’re seated side by side together since they share the same department), but instead of sitting still in her place and perhaps reviewing a product just as how her job description demands her to do, Chaeryeong is all over the place.

Sometimes she’s the tea lady, passing out drinks for everyone every other morning (except for Taehyun because he always refuses, and he always gets his morning coffee from Starbucks) and some other times, she’s _this_ ; whatever this role is of delivering requests from one coworker to another, or from their department head to one of them. 

Seeing as if she’s still waiting for a reaction from Taehyun, he at last lowers his head into a very small nod and stands up from his seat, exiting his cubicle to enter straight into their department head’s office, not before ignoring the ‘how cold!’ Chaeryeong throws to his back.

Taehyun knocks once upon the door before pushing it open. “Excuse me, Sir. You wanted to see me?”

Mr. Kim peers up from a pile of folders scattering all over his mahogany table, frowns gradually straightening out as soon as he notices Taehyun standing there. “Hey, Taehyun-ah. Yes, yes. Come on in.”

Taehyun invites himself further into the office, closing the door as he goes and only sits across from the boss once the man gestures down to a chair.

“So,” he begins, resting his hands over the files and interlocking his fingers. “Have you considered the offer I’ve told before? About going outstation to interview the victim family?”

Taehyun wets his chapped lips and looks away, running out of ideas to decline him politely when his boss doesn’t seem to give up on it anytime soon. It’s not like he refuses to accept the job because he has been doubting his ability. It’s just the investigative journal involves a fire tragedy and fire always reminds him of…

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kim. I honestly don’t think—”

A knock vibrates against the door and whoever outside clearly doesn’t wait for any signal from Mr. Kim to let themselves in as the door parts away and comes in Lee Chaeryeong, again.

“Ops! Sorry to interrupt,” she says, tone completely unapologetic as she approaches them with a tray filled with two mugs. “I’m just here to send you both some tea!”

Talk about what she’s doing half of the time instead of writing…

“Thank you, Ms. Lee. That’s very considerate of you,” Mr. Kim stretches up a smile, albeit stiffly while he steals glances back and forth from Taehyun’s dumbfounded face and up to Chaeryeong’s cherry cheerful grin. “As always.”

“I know!” Chaeryeong agrees lightheartedly ~~(shamelessly)~~. “So what are you two talking about?”

Taehyun finally blinks up to her with expression that screams _‘seriously? I thought this discussion supposed to be private?’_ yet none hits the alarm while Mr. Kim just sighs and shrugs, possibly tired of chasing the lady away because she always, always invites herself in about everything no matter how obvious the matter isn’t her business. “Well, I’m just offering Mr. Kang here with opportunity to do some outstation interview about the recent fire case that happened at—”

“Oh— _oh_! Is it the one at Seongnam City?”

“Yes, that’s the one.”

“That’s great! You should totally accept it, Mr. Kang,” she turns with her never ending bright smile to him. “You’re going down there this Saturday after all, right?”

Wait. How did she know about _that_?

Taehyun furrows up to her, puzzled. “Wha—I’m not—”

Of course, their boss only catches the ‘juicy’ part. “Wait, are you really?”

“No, it’s just I—”

Taehyun quickly shakes his head to deny it because no, _no_. A hard _NO_. He has been dismissing all the invitation, messages and calls he received nonstop from all of his friends because Taehyun has no plan whatsoever to go back there but it never crosses his mind that someone other than himself would actually know about the card posted to him early this week—

“But you received the invitation right? For the reunion back at your high school in Seongnam?” Chaeryeong asks almost innocently but Taehyun wants to strangle her neck.

Instead, he fires her a glare.

“How did you know about that?”

Of _fucking_ course she would know about that. This is Chaeryeong, she knows _everything_ —including someone’s personal mails.

“Ah, yeah…” She giggles almost sheepishly and Taehyun resists the urge to roll his eyes. He should have fucking _known_. “I’m sorry, Mr. Kang. I didn’t mean to check your mails or anything. It’s just, I saw the card the other day when it arrived so I read the front page and just…sort of...figured it out? Haha.”

Mr. Kim clears his throat. “Well then I assume that’s a good thing, right? You can kill two birds at once?”

“No, wait—” Taehyun still couldn’t wrap his mind around all of this. “Why do you even need me to write about the fire, Mr. Kim? You can ask other investigative journalists. We have plenty who are capable of constructing a good interview out of the case.”

“I know, Taehyun-ah,” Mr. Kim responds with a calm nod, always so collective it annoys Taehyun sometimes. “I just thought maybe you’d want to expand your talent and knowledge in writing to bigger cases instead of just stay reviewing products. I believe you have more insights on stuff than you ever let it show.”

Chaeryeong nods encouragingly along with him but Taehyun still tries his hardest to block her out. _None_ of this would have happened if it wasn’t because of her! Taehyun almost clicks his tongue, refusal so heavy by the tip of his tongue, about to slip down and out of his mouth. But Mr. Kim curves one more smile to him and his tone is so sure when he says,

“I value your thoughts and opinions, Taehyun. I believe you can even write a featured article for this case. Think about it, yeah?”

And Taehyun honestly does not have the strength to reject it anymore, especially not against those warm eyes and comforting tone.

* * *

“What are you so afraid of, Mr. Kang? You always play it safe when it comes to publishing articles.” Taehyun remains stoic in his cubicle, fingers typing rapidly with hope to drown the nonstop blabbers from Chaeryeong with the loud clicking of his keyboard. The lady goes on despite receiving muted reply from him. “I’ve read your portfolio. All of your old writings were so good—”

“Hold on,” only at this, Taehyun pauses to furrow upon his screen. “How did you find out about my portfolio?”

He doesn’t need to see to know Chaeryeong is rolling her eyes the exaggerated way she always does, “Duh, it’s in the company website? Besides, I can tell you’re _so_ talented—”

“I don’t mind doing investigative journalism,” Taehyun wants to stop talking, but then it just _slipped_ before he can even stop himself. Maybe because it’s all he has been thinking about ever since the offer is given to him.

( _Or maybe, you just never stop thinking about him…_ )

“It’s just…I’m not really fond of the case.”

“What, you mean the fire case?” Chaeryeong appears by the entrance of his cubicle and _worse_ , she’s stepping inside. “But why?”

Taehyun heaves a sigh. He shouldn’t have talked about it in the first place.

“Nothing, it’s alright,” he’s quick to drop it, eyes shifting down to the computer clock and noticing it’s almost 10 PM. Their office is empty now except for the pair of them here in this department and a couple more journalists staying back to keep up with their deadlines. “It’s late, shouldn’t you go back already?”

“I will, but right after I finish dropping my wish into this Santa Box. You should try it too!” _Again_ , Taehyun regrets himself for asking because now, instead of leaving him alone, Chaeryeong drags a chair next to him and sits her ass down.

“No, thanks—”

“C’monnn, it’ll be fun! Just try it out!”

“What the hell is this?” Taehyun doesn’t try to hide the annoyance thick in his tone when a phone is shoved right before his nose. Yet Chaeryeong doesn’t deter, eager to explain it to him with her manicured finger pointing down to it.

“It’s a website called Santa Box. On Christmas Eve, you fill in a form in this website with your biggest wish and on Christmas, whatever that is will be granted by the Santa if your wish is chosen!”

Taehyun deadpans, “Seriously, Lee Chaeryeong, you’re 24.”

“And?” Her grin is too big and Taehyun isn’t sure whether to laugh in despair or facepalm himself. “Are you tryna say I’m young and beautiful?”

“No, I’m saying you’re old and childish. This thing is ridiculous.”

“That’s sooo mean!” She howls, hitting him once on his shoulder. “But it really did happen! Last year my friend dropped a wish for her crush to ask her out on Christmas date and guess what? It happened! They went out!”

Taehyun eyes her skeptically.

“…so what’s your wish—” He almost bites his own tongue. “Nah, forget I even said that—”

“It’s for you to smile!”

“Pardon?”

“I never see you smile! So this year I’m wishing for it. Maybe if you go back and have a reunion with your high school friends, you can be happy again.”

He certainly doesn’t expect _that_ , of all things haywired Chaeryeong could have wished for.

“Look, Taehyunnie, I don’t know what might have happened to you in the past,” she starts through a long sigh after Taehyun falls silent. “But I think it’s better for you to move on. Live your life outside of this four-walled cubicle. Meet new people, old people. Meet everyone. You deserve to be happy.”

Taehyun thinks back about the card he received, the offer, his friends, high school… _him_.

No.

He doesn’t think he deserves it.

Not after _that_.

It’s been 7 years but—

_(It’s not that easy…)_

“God, why am I suddenly becoming so sappy—anyways, look at the time! I’m running late so see you tomorrow, Mr. Kang. Good night!” Chaeryeong’s booming squeal pulls Taehyun out of his train of thoughts and in just one blink, she’s gone from his cubicle. Taehyun hisses under his breath.

“Gee, she’s so noisy,” he turns back to his laptop, giving his document one blank stare until—

His hand moves, opening a new tab on Naver.

**_Welcome to Santa Box 2019!_ **

****

**_Drop your wish here:_ **

Taehyun is staring hard upon the webpage as if he could break his screen into tiny pieces if he stares any harder.

_“Hyung, how does one forgive himself?”_

Slowly, he brings his fingers over the keyboard.

**I wish.**

He types and backspaces that quickly.

Then, with a long sigh, he types once more.

**I wish to see him again.**

_His_ smile is all that he can see; the lazy, lopsided one, or one that stretched so far up his face until his eyes turned to crescents, or the thin, longing smile he gave him on the last day they ever looked at each other in the eyes…

_He_ is all Taehyun could think about.

**I wish I could see him again, even just for once. I want to tell him I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have been so terrified of my feelings because if I hadn’t…he would have still been here.**

**I miss him. So much.**

Taehyun clicks upon the SUBMIT button but then—

He laughs.

A sudden, short and bitter laugh.

_(You can’t meet someone who’s not here anymore.)_

Scanning the whole bright red, cheerful page once more, Taehyun shakes the silliness out of his head and exits the tab, focusing back on his unfinished work.

_(This is stupid, Kang Taehyun.)_

* * *

“Hi.”

Taehyun looked up from the journal he had been writing on and saw a boy stood in front of him.

Taehyun’s eyes darted from side to side. No one was around the room, not around him, not around the other boy. Unmistakably, the boy—Choi Yeonjun—was talking to him, Kang Taehyun.

“Um…hi?”

Yeonjun smiled, a lopsided one. Then, “Bye.”

“…bye?” Taehyun was frowning hard, but Yeonjun only nodded, contented with the confused goodbye and he walked away through the open door of the club room, hands shoved deep into his pockets while whistling.

At night before Taehyun closed his eyes, he faintly remembered the song Yeonjun whistled to. It was one of the B-tracks from TXT’s album, wasn’t it? Was it…Magic Island? Magic Wind? Magic…something?

* * *

Taehyun wrote, a lot. He began writing when lessons got boring (secretly putting his textbook over his journal while he plotted storylines), he wrote between classes, he wrote after school, he wrote before he went to sleep, he simply just loved writing.

He even joined the school journalism and newspaper club as their writer slash editor as soon as they were introduced to the variety of club activities offered to the first years.

His friends already accustomed seeing his nose buried in his endless collection of journal books. Huening Kai was no longer questioning how on earth Taehyun could tirelessly fill in his notebooks with words, short stories and poems (Huening Kai wasn’t the type to write or read, he preferred watching movies and he definitely hated the subject literature) and Samuel already gave up trying to separate Taehyun from his journals (Taehyun was seriously upset with him once when Samuel hid one of Taehyun’s notebooks, apparently Taehyun was in the midst of writing the crucial part of his AU and Samuel had killed his inspiration halfway) while Jisung had never really mind Taehyun’s weird obsession on writing (he didn’t mind a lot of things, always smiling cheerfully at the world).

Now, when it came to social hierarchy (they were in high school, that thing was inevitable), Taehyun and his friends were pretty much in the middle, except Samuel. Samuel was breathtakingly gorgeous with his multiracial ancestry same as Huening Kai, but unlike the quiet, introverted boy, Samuel was a social butterfly. As for Taehyun, he got slightly more popular during school’s examination season since he was quite an ace in study, always on top of his class and year. But that was it. Some people knew him, some others didn’t.

And honestly he thought Choi Yeonjun would be in the latter category.

Yeonjun was quite high in the social hierarchy. Being the senior, his circle of close friends was often known as the ‘IT’ guys. Everybody was familiar with them, at least to the point of knowing their faces just by a mention of their names. Choi Soobin was the president of Student Council, Choi Beomgyu and Lim Jimin were the gag duo everyone loved, Jung Wooyoung was the famous athlete, and then there was Yeonjun, the walking perfection—always #1 in everything be it in class, sports or club competition. They were always willing to help out during school’s events, loud with endless jokes and laughter and always in the center of the crowd. The five guys were not delinquents though they were indeed mischievous in endearing ways, at least to anyone who adored them which made that _everyone_. Well, almost everyone.

Because Taehyun never talked to any of them, minus Soobin—Student Council members often in need of technical writing help from the newspaper club and this was when the president actually bothered talking to him. Though most of it in formal, professional ways of discussing the business they should get done together. Thus it really baffled Taehyun, the encounter with Yeonjun previous day. Moreover it happened in the newspaper club room, long after the periods ended and most students had gone back home after finishing their club activity. There was Taehyun’s haven, because it was quiet and serene—just the right ambience for Taehyun to let his creativity flow out freely and most of all, Taehyun never saw any of the ‘IT’ guys there.

That was why Yeonjun was the last person he would have expected to show up there, at least not without specific purpose unless he was the club member which he totally wasn’t because Yeonjun was already famous as the school’s basketball captain.

If Taehyun was to describe Yeonjun through his writing, he would say Yeonjun was handsome and beautiful all at once. Tall, broad shoulders, honey smooth skin, high nose, huge round eyes, plushy thick lips…and the list of his perfection went on a long way. Something about his aura made him look intimidating and cool. Maybe the way he walked by the very front of his group, leading them all effortlessly, or maybe his half-lidded eyes, or lopsided smile which was often blooming into a full sly smirk whenever his friends cracked silly jokes or the way he always had a lollipop stick (or any kind of sweets) stuck between his lips. That was another thing about Yeonjun, he was on sugar all the time and that might explain why he was certainly the most hyper among the group. Taehyun thought Yeonjun was a whole paradox—intimidating but full of mysterious wonders.

_Maybe Yeonjun sunbae was just being friendly, Taehyun-ah_ , his mind told him. _And stop judging a book by its cover,_ his mind then scoffed.

So Taehyun shoved the wonder to the back of his mind and used his time to finish his latest piece of writing, eager to get it printed on one of the columns for the school’s weekly newspaper.

* * *

“Hi, Taehyun.”

It happened again.

Taehyun was writing alone during lunchtime, seated right next to the open window of the club room overlooking the outdoor basketball court. Huening Kai and Jisung went to cafeteria to get them some food while Samuel was still caught up with something, leaving Taehyun and his journal waiting.

The boy peered up from his half written review, again, finding someone was staring down at him from outside of the window. He blocked the light with his body and the sun shone behind him, making his face shadowed. Taehyun couldn’t see his face clearly with the blinding light, so he narrowed his eyes. That was when he realized it was Yeonjun.

“…Hi,” he said, still uncertain though this time it was pretty clear the greeting was directed to him.

Yeonjun pulled the lollipop out from his mouth with a pop sound. “You’re writing again,” he said, peeking curiously at the notebook in Taehyun’s lap.

“Um, yes,” he lifted his journal so Yeonjun could see the cover—maybe that was the senior’s main interest after all.

“Oh, it’s different from the last one.”

Taehyun was quite surprised Yeonjun even noticed that. “Well, yes…I use this one to write review while the other one to write…short stories.”

“Hmm,” Yeonjun nodded absentmindedly. “Do you really enjoy writing?”

“I guess?” Taehyun raised his eyebrow. He couldn’t tell where this conversation was going. “I like it. It’s like a hobby.”

Yeonjun shoved his lollipop back into his mouth as he scrutinized Taehyun’s features. Then his lips broke into a smile. “That’s good, then.”

“Um,” Taehyun shifted restlessly.

“Goodbye.” The ghost of Yeonjun’s smile still lingered on his face, faint and dim.

“Oh. Bye.” Taehyun watched as Yeonjun paced back across the field to his own group sitting on the steps of the bleacher, again, while whistling. Some of his team members were practicing basketball and the ball flying right at Yeonjun—for a moment Taehyun was horrified because it went directly to Yeonjun’s head—but the senior simply raised one arm to catch it just in time before it could touch his face, and threw it back to the players.

“What was that?” An excited whisper came from his side and Taehyun turned his head right at the moment Huening Kai plopped down next to him. “You’re talking to Choi Yeonjun sunbae? You know him?”

“I…don’t, actually,” Taehyun admitted, returning his gaze to Yeonjun. He was already sitting with his friends, and thanks to his perfect eyesight Taehyun could see the smile tugging at Yeonjun’s lips. But he wasn’t sure if Yeonjun was looking at him or not. “…he just said hi, and asked me about my journals.”

Huening Kai creased his brows. “Really? Aww, I thought you could help me with Soobin sunbae,” Huening Kai sighed and threw secret glances at Soobin who was chewing on his sandwich. Huening Kai had been crushing hard on the president ever since the moment he marched up the stage to welcome the first years with a smooth speech and dimpled, sweet smile.

“…Hyuka, do you know any of TXT’s songs? One that starts with some whistling? What’s the title?”

“Uh…I think I know what you’re talking about but I just can’t find the melody in my head.”

“What are you two talking about?” Samuel made his sudden entrance, jumping into the club room over the window and landed next to Taehyun’s empty side, immediately pushing a chip in front of Taehyun’s mouth. Jisung appeared civilly by the correct entrance, walking through the club door and taking his place across from the three boys, carefully placing the breads he just bought along the windowpane.

“TXT’s song, one that begins with whistling?” Taehyun said while munching on his chip.

“Ah, Magic Island? This one?” Jisung started whistling the intro melody.

Taehyun nodded. “Yes, that one. What’s the song about?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“What are you guys, cave people? Just Naver it,” Samuel chided impatiently, pulling out his phone and began typing. “…TXT…Magic Island…There, here it is!” He exclaimed in accomplishment and handed his phone to Taehyun.

Quietly, Taehyun read the lyric of the song.

_This place is our start line  
Our start line  
The starlight of the day we saw together  
Don't forget that night  
You can't forget this place_

“Why are you suddenly asking about the song, Taehyunnie?” Jisung craned his neck to look upon Samuel’s phone too.

“Nothing. I’ve just heard it yesterday and it’s…bugging me.” Taehyun returned Samuel’s phone to its owner, who gave the screen a quick look before pocketing it.

“Ah, why is he eating like a bunny? He’s so soft,” they heard Huening Kai mumbled to no one—well actually to Soobin who wiped clean the residue of his food from the corners of his mouth with a wide grin, both dimples on full display.

Beomgyu was standing in front of his friends and apparently he was relaying some funny stories because the seniors broke into a great laugh with Jimin being the loudest, slapping his thigh exaggeratedly. Taehyun saw Yeonjun’s eyes turned into mere slits and crinkles were formed near his eyes when he laughed along. Suddenly Yeonjun’s sight moved to his direction and he tilted his head, his laugh disappeared into a gentle smile.

Taehyun picked up his journal and continued jotting, only half listening to Huening Kai, Samuel and Jisung chatting around him.

* * *

Yeonjun, apparently, was everywhere, now that Taehyun aware of his presence. At least, a part of him was.

Of course there was Beomgyu in Photography club as one of their senior members and whenever his own club was in need of a good photographer to take pictures for whatever upcoming featured article, Beomgyu would always volunteer to help, greeting the newspaper club members with his crinkly eyes and sweet smile, big camera hanging by his neck. And guess who would always be following Beomgyu around like his shadow? The nonstop joker Jimin who had the newspaper club boomed with laughter whenever he was around accompanying Beomgyu. He didn’t exactly do anything specific, he wasn’t even volunteering as their photographer. He was just there, as Beomgyu’s moral support, or so he said. When Taehyun sometimes had his PE lesson combined with the seniors, that was when he could truly see Wooyoung shine with his endless athletic talents. Meanwhile, Huening Kai just kept on talking about Soobin, who happened to be Yeonjun’s classmate slash closest buddy in their group, so they were spotted together a lot.

It wasn’t that Taehyun spent his waking time thinking about Yeonjun, and he wasn’t trying to not think about him either, it was just he noticed him and his friends more frequently now.

And the universe had its own way with encounters.

“Can we join you here? We can’t find any other table,” a rather composed and calm voice asking, making the four boys around the table looked up and met eyes with Wooyoung. He smiled charmingly, confidence flowing from his movements.

Huening Kai’s eyes widened when he realized Soobin was there too, standing behind Wooyoung. His eyes met Huening Kai’s and he quickly smiled, “Of course, we can make space for you guys.” Taehyun noted how Huening Kai didn’t look nervous whatsoever, but knowing Huening Kai and his endless praises for Soobin, Taehyun was quite impressed with his calmness.

Soobin sat beside Huening Kai and Taehyun only realized Yeonjun sat down next to him when he said ‘Hi’ to him.

“Hi,” Taehyun replied back.

“You...don’t eat?” He asked, out of politeness (or curiosity mixed with bluntness), when he saw Yeonjun didn’t carry his tray. He was munching on something, though, and Taehyun can smell mint, probably a chewing gum.

“Yeonjunnie lives on sugar,” it was Soobin across from Yeonjun who answered.

Yeonjun raised his eyebrows at Taehyun. He picked out something from his pocket and opened his palm before him. Taehyun was right, it was chewing gum, and not only mint, there was also orange, strawberry and grape flavor too.

Taehyun shook his head. “You’re not hungry?”

Yeonjun shrugged lazily, leaving a mint choco bubblegum in front of Taehyun’s plate in his way retreating back his hand to himself (Taehyun wanted to inform he despised that flavor but he quickly swallowed the words before they could slip out). Yeonjun pocketed back the rest.

“But you eat breakfast, right?” Taehyun still found it hard there was someone who preferred chewing gum over real food.

“Are you worried,” the senior replied in hushed tone so only Taehyun could hear him, Yeonjun’s lips curled upward at one side. It wasn’t a real smile, not a smirk either, Taehyun wasn’t sure.

At this Taehyun frowned. “I’m not,” he really wasn’t. “Just...it’s…weird.”

Yeonjun stared at him for a moment before he smiled, hand raised to ruffle his hair. Taehyun was too puzzled to react.

“Oh, is our baby Taehyunie making friends?” Taehyun turned his head when Samuel spoke, eyes big with excitement upon the prospect that Taehyun made some conversation with other people than the three of them. Taehyun was not the most sociable person with his writing and reading addiction.

“Baby Taehyunie is friends with our baby Yeonjunnie?” Beomgyu mimicked Samuel and they all laughed, including Samuel, but not after he kicked Beomgyu’s leg under the table.

“You’re the youngest,” Yeonjun picked a cherry tomato from Taehyun’s plate and threw it to Beomgyu’s direction, who ducked with exaggerated movements which Jisung couldn’t stop giggling at, moreover when Jimin joined Beomgyu and they suddenly danced comically together.

“But I was going to eat that…” Taehyun stared upon the cherry tomato, now rolling on the floor after Yeonjun missed his target. Yeonjun put another gum for replacement.

Taehyun had two mint choco chewing gums as his dessert.

* * *

The next time Yeonjun approached him was at the newspaper club again after the school almost entirely silent from the absence of the students as soon as the club activities ended. Taehyun stayed back as per usual, finding comfort amidst the quietness to finish writing his entry on one upcoming writing contest organized by their local newspaper. It was huge among the neighborhood considering everyone got their sources of news from that local newspaper company so once Taehyun was selected as their school representative for the contest, he couldn’t be more thrilled to finish it.

Only this evening, he found himself wasn’t alone when Yeonjun leaned over from the wide open window overlooking the field to check over the laptop screen Taehyun was using to write. His eyes schemed along his ongoing written paragraph before he glanced to Taehyun. “Hi.”

Taehyun was already staring at Yeonjun’s sharp side profile since the brunette showed up. “Hi.”

“You’re not writing in book this time?”

“This one’s for a contest.”

“Oh, the one from Daily Updates?” Yeonjun mentioned the newspaper name, jumping into the room and pulling a chair to sit beside him. “That sounds cool. Everyone reads Daily Updates so I guess if you win, you’ll be a hot issue.”

Taehyun didn’t have an answer, he just shrugged and waited for Yeonjun to say something else. It didn’t seem polite to just ignore him and continue writing, so Taehyun waited, for Yeonjun to leave or something.

But Yeonjun just sat and played with a lollipop in his mouth, lazy hooded eyes randomly scanning around the small club room taped with all kinds of messy newspaper articles and cuts all over the walls. It was silence, safe for the evening wind blowing into the room and Taehyun wondered if he should prompt a conversation to fill in the awkward gap, until—

Yeonjun sat straighter, eyes wide on Taehyun who frowned at him in return.

—they both caught that sound, a soft mewling.

Both of them stretched their neck out through the window and they finally saw it, the source of the sudden noise. It was a kitten.

Small, pitch black fur and a pair of very rare eyes.

Taehyun blinked as Yeonjun cooed and immediately bent half of his body out to pick the kitten up. He giggled and held it up, smashing his cheek with its tiny head side by side so that Taehyun can stare on them both. If anything he furrowed even deeper because no pets were allowed at school?

“Isn’t she beautiful? Baby got blue and green eyes,” Yeonjun further laughed to himself and brought the kitten to sit with him back on the chair.

“How do you know it’s a female?” Taehyun asked while he carefully sat back, wary of the sudden little creature in Yeonjun’s lap.

The senior shrugged, “I don’t know, I _assume_ it’s a girl.”

And Taehyun wasn’t even sure why he cared. It wasn’t like he hated having a cat around here. He loved tiny animals especially cats, in fact. But they were not allowed to keep any kind of living creatures other than plants in school so he wondered where this weird-eyed kitten came from.

“You’re not going to write again?” Yeonjun made a slight wave with his free hand to Taehyun’s laptop, another hand patting upon the kitten’s ears.

Taehyun threw a hesitant glance at them.

“Oh, don’t mind me and [Seaweed](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/729723945858434757/).”

“Seaweed?” Because _who?_

Yeonjun chuckled and tickled the kitten now licking his palm. “It’s her, she’s Seaweed.”

_It had only been five minutes and he already named her?_

Yeonjun moved the lollipop from his left cheek to his right. “Just write, like you always do.”

At first Taehyun couldn’t fully concentrate on his writing, re-reading some paragraphs because he just wrote without really putting the context together. He wasn’t used to someone else’s presence near him when he was writing. Even his friends would leave him alone whenever Taehyun was immersed with his journals, but Yeonjun just sat there, all quiet with his lollipop and...Seaweed, before he took out his phone and snapped a few pictures of the kitten.

About an hour later Taehyun realized it was probably already the time for him to go home and he glanced up from his laptop, eyes immediately stumbled on a mint choco lollipop on the desk. He turned his head to the side.

Seaweed was nowhere to be seen and he didn’t even notice it when Yeonjun left him alone.

* * *

The next day, after lunch, Taehyun was already seated at his usual seat by the window, preparing for a short club meeting for this month’s featured news when Beomgyu walked into the room. He sat down with his camera carefully placed on the desk (they needed a photographer service and here he was, again) and a moment later, as if he just remembered something, he groped around his pocket before producing a pack of gummy worm. He slid it over until it stopped right before Taehyun.

“From the Candy Boy,” Beomgyu grinned, wriggling his eyebrows.

It took a moment for Taehyun to stop staring at the gummy worm pack (mint choco flavored, again) and look back at Beomgyu. “Thank you,” he finally said, nodding his head a little.

Beomgyu only grinned wider.

And that wasn’t the end of it.

Yeonjun’s ‘Hi’ became a routine, came at random times, but always when Taehyun was alone after classes in the club room. He said his ‘Hi’, checked on what Taehyun was writing or editing that day, stayed around for a while to play with Seaweed or feed her (he even placed a box now just outside the window, below a tree there. _‘Her home’_ , Yeonjun had said. Taehyun wanted to protest and tell him that technically it wasn’t allowed but Seaweed had blue and green round eyes and Taehyun was weak against her innocent gaze), and then left behind something for Taehyun—variations of candies and chocolates, anything sweet.

_No, Taehyun. Choi Yeonjun doesn’t have any plan to make you have cavities…or diabetes. Or even use this club room to satisfy his secretly-keeping-a-kitten-pet agenda_ , Taehyun’s mind assured him. _Now be smart and ask him about it. Or ask Samuel. He knows stuff like this. Or maybe not, Samuel won’t stop fussing about it. And Huening Kai is actually worse than Samuel. Then, Jisung?_

But for some reasons Taehyun kept it to himself; the fact the school’s IT boy took interest in what Taehyun wrote, or the fact that he kept him company in the club room after school with no reason at all, leaving behind traces in the form of lollipops and candies when Taehyun forgot about his presence completely, or how he noticed Choi Yeonjun more and more every day.

* * *

Taehyun quite fond of codes and puzzles, but he wasn’t sure if he liked the one Soobin gave him. He wasn’t sure if it was even a puzzle at all, but Taehyun felt the need to decipher his words so maybe it was a code after all.

There was a student council meeting that day and Soobin requested for one newspaper club member to join to assist their secretary with some publication stuff, and that was why Taehyun found himself joining the meeting. He listened to the president attentively and took necessary notes here and there.

Two hours later, once the meeting was over, loud screeches were heard when the students pushed their chairs back under the table on their way to stand up and leave. Taehyun gathered his stuff, putting them all neatly inside his bag so they won’t crush his books and journals, and he was about to leave as well when Soobin offered him a box of chocolates with his usual dimpled smile.

“No, thank you,” was Taehyun’s immediate reflex, mistaking the action as Soobin offering him if he wanted a piece, and Soobin smiled wider.

“It’s from Yeonjunnie,” Soobin said, looking amused as he watched how Taehyun’s expression changed.

“Oh,” Taehyun said quietly. He was still staring at the chocolate box in Soobin’s hand—mint choco flavor boldly written there. “…Then,” he reached out politely to take it from the president. “Thank you.”

Soobin shrugged good-naturedly. “It’s not from me.”

“I…” Taehyun opened his mouth, and Soobin peered at him patiently. “…why?”

“You’re still asking why?” Soobin chuckled. “Isn’t it obvious enough?”

Seeing the doubtful look on Taehyun’s face, Soobin shook his head and again, he had an amused smile pasted on. “I’ll tell Yeonjunnie he needs to change his strategy. Well, if it’s any help, Yeonjun never shares his candies with anyone, even us. Maybe sometimes, whenever he’s feeling generous. But _never_ like this.”

Taehyun ended up thinking about Soobin’s words more than he intended to, and he didn’t get to finish his review that night.

* * *

“Hi, Taehyun.”

“Hi, Yeonjun sunbae,” Taehyun turned around and faced the window instead. It was break time and he took the short time to make progress on his entry for the writing contest while Jisung and Huening Kai went to washroom and Samuel was on duty to buy them all lunch this time. Yeonjun was outside the club room as usual, it seemed like he was having a short basketball practice with his team and now he was leaning against the window frame, resting his folded arms there while putting his chin on top of his arms.

“Do you know that next Saturday we have a basketball match with Gongku High School?” Yeonjun asked with his half-lidded eyes, his skin glistened with sweat and Yeonjun tried to flip his fringe away from his forehead, but his damp hair stuck on his face stubbornly and it seemed Yeonjun was too lazy to change position.

Taehyun took pity and he brushed Yeonjun’s hair away, the sweat wetting his fingers. Yeonjun looked up at him and he beamed with his eyes. “Thanks. You can wipe your hand on my uniform. Oh, but it’s also sticky.” Yeonjun stopped to sniff at himself. “And I smell too. Sorry.”

Taehyun shook his head to show he didn’t mind. Yeonjun did smell, and Taehyun thought no sweat smelled good, but Yeonjun smelled like…like a man, if Taehyun had to describe it. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant.

“The basketball match, yes, I know,” Taehyun answered Yeonjun’s previous question.

“I thought you didn’t. You don’t seem the type to watch school’s sports matches.”

“Hmm, true. But there’s a reason,” and that would be Huening Kai always drag them to Wooyoung’s sports events just so he could watch Soobin cheering for his friend, pleasing his eyes with about an hour or so of watching the apple of his eyes out of school uniform, in his casual long sleeves tee and ripped jeans (Huening Kai thought Soobin looked _hot_ in those fits, because he was _tall_ tall with wide shoulders). He reasoned he needed his friends just so he won’t be seen as lonely coming to those matches by himself. But really, to simply put, he just needed someone to listen to him rambling how endearing, how cute, how considerate Choi Soobin was when he cheered for Wooyoung and took care of his bag and towel and all. Taehyun always brought along his journal with him and spent time jotting down AU prompts instead of watching.

“Then, are you coming?” Yeonjun asked again. But before Taehyun could answer, Yeonjun already added, “I’m playing. I’d love it if you come.”

Ignoring his wonder about Yeonjun’s last sentence, he asked instead, “Can I bring along my friends?”

Because it would sound a little less private when friends tag along. Taehyun didn’t want to be trapped alone in this invitation from Choi Yeonjun. _The_ Choi Yeonjun.

“Of course, bring along as many as you want,” Yeonjun agreed with a chuckle. “So, you’ll be there?”

“I will.”

“Great,” Yeonjun was beaming again. It made Taehyun unsettled.

“Yeonjun sunbae…” Taehyun called before Yeonjun left him to return to the court. Yeonjun turned around, smile already plastered on his face. “Thought I told you to just call me _hyung_.”

Taehyun hesitated because _are we really that close?_

“Thank you, hyung…for yesterday’s chocolate. I like…milk chocolate. And fruit, and nut.”

“Noted!” Yeonjun raised his thumb, walking backward for a while before his eyes dropped down to Seaweed’s home and he threw a coo upon the kitten sleeping there, jogging the rest of his way back to his team.

“So…” Jisung slid to Taehyun’s side after Yeonjun left. “Can I ask what that was, Taehyunnie?” Jisung peered up at him with his big innocent eyes. “We have thirty seconds before Samuel and Hyuka return.” He grinned sheepishly because they both were at the same wavelength, Samuel and Huening Kai could be overly nosy sometimes.

“I’m not sure,” Taehyun answered, turning his body to Jisung. He stared at Jisung’s tie just so he could focus on something instead. Instead of thinking about _why_.

Jisung patted his head motherly and he didn’t ask more about it, choosing to lean over the window and check on Seaweed.

* * *

For the first time in his life, Taehyun didn’t have any journal or notebook in his bag when he went to the basketball match and he felt strangely empty, almost felt like he left his phone behind at home. And Samuel went as far as giving him a major shocked look, “Who are you and what you did to Kang Taehyun?” Taehyun punched his arm playfully.

Huening Kai secured them a place right in the middle of their team’s supporters, made of not only their schoolmates but also families of the players. Huening Kai said something about there being the perfect place, he could see Soobin clearly, but it wouldn’t be too obvious since there were three rows in front of them. But then his ‘secretly devoting all my love and heart eyes to Choi Soobin’ was kind of ruined the moment Beomgyu, Soobin, and Jimin shuffled their ways and sat beside the junior gang. He pouted, assuming the seniors would sit down closer to the court so they can reach Yeonjun easier in case the boy needed them. But then Samuel reminded him at least this way Soobin would look at their direction if he conversed with his friends and that comforted Huening Kai.

When the players entered the court, Yeonjun and Wooyoung (he wasn’t in the team but a player got injured last minute so he came as a substitute) walked together like the best friends they were, Yeonjun leaned over to Wooyoung, seemingly listening to whatever game strategies they were discussing about. From his hand’s gestures, Taehyun guessed it was for the game today. Yeonjun dyed his hair, Taehyun wasn’t particularly sure if it was to match their school’s theme color but his locks were vibrant blue today. He looked...fresh.

Taehyun can’t look away.

Yeonjun suddenly gazed up, eyes moving around the rows of spectators as if he was looking for something. Or someone. His friends must have noticed it too, because Beomgyu stood up and yelled, “YEONJUN-AH!” so loud, even Soobin beside him flinched.

Taehyun could see Yeonjun’s eyes flew to Beomgyu, who grinned foolishly, and then his eyes shifted from Beomgyu to Soobin, and then to Jimin, Samuel, Jisung, Huening Kai and…

He smiled when he saw Taehyun, eyes turning into cute crescent shape.

And Taehyun wasn’t the only one realized Yeonjun’s smile was directed exclusively at him, because Huening Kai, Jisung and Samuel all turned their heads to Taehyun, along with several girls from the rows in front of them. Taehyun wished he brought along his journal with him right now.

Yeonjun didn’t play until the second quarter, and for the first quarter he watched the game with sharp gaze, biting his nails instead of a lollipop stick. Taehyun had never _truly_ seen Yeonjun played basketball before (he was always so distracted with his writings whenever the senior had his practices next to the club room to really pay attention to Yeonjun). He was good, at least Taehyun thought he was with his minimum knowledge about basketball. He scored some points, and every time he succeeded he turned his head to Taehyun and smiled, as if checking his reactions.

Jisung nudged him with his elbow several times.

Their school won the game with Yeonjun as the MVP (of course, shocking huh?) and Huening Kai didn’t even care if Soobin’s friends got suspicious of him when he began recording the exhilarating moments the second Soobin stood up with the rest of the gang to scream out Yeonjun’s name during the game (he just couldn’t miss the way Soobin’s eyes turned all crescents and adorable whenever he was cheering).

“Taehyun-ah,” Jimin called out. “You should go down, Yeonjunnie must want to see you.”

Huening Kai made the decision for him. “I’ll accompany you!” he said, too happily, and Taehyun knew it meant _you can talk to Yeonjun and let me have Soobin_ because he had moved down to pass out water bottles to Yeonjun and Wooyoung, leaving Beomgyu with Jimin on the bleacher. They said goodbye to Samuel and Jisung before went down to the court and waited for the players who were still in the changing room.

There was a group of three girls stood waiting nearby them, one which Taehyun noticed can’t stop throwing sneaky glares at him for god-knows reasons what but upon the sight of the players starting to pile out from the room, Huening Kai practically pushed him to Yeonjun, not giving chances for the girls to approach him or even open their mouth to call out (because Taehyun obviously noticed they were gasping once they saw Yeonjun walked out), and despite feeling a bit uncomfortable for the nonstop stinky looks he received from the girls, Taehyun thought at least someone’s happy when Huening Kai got to talk to Soobin and Wooyoung behind them. They walked to the bus stop like that, Taehyun and Yeonjun behind of the other three.

“Hi,” Yeonjun greeted when he saw him, more cheerful than usual this time.

“Hi,” Taehyun said back. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Yeonjun grinned. “I didn’t do much though.”

“I’ll take that you’re just being humble, ‘cuz you literally just won as MVP,” Taehyun concluded quite teasingly despite him feeling honest about it. Yeonjun glanced at him and he gave Taehyun his trademark smile, the lopsided one. He wiped his face and neck with a towel, and he already changed into a blue tank matching his hair, his biceps flexed when he raised his arm. Taehyun realized Yeonjun kept a good distance from him. “It’s okay,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. Yeonjun tilted his head, silently asking why he said so. “You don’t smell bad.”

There, Yeonjun beamed again, and he walked closer to Taehyun.

Huening Kai was always loud, now was not an exception and Taehyun could hear his voice from behind, “I don’t know that Yeonjun sunbae likes Taehyunnie.” Taehyun couldn’t hear Soobin’s or Wooyoung’s response, and he briefly thought the two guys did a good job at keeping their voice low, unlike a certain person. And if Taehyun could hear him, Yeonjun most definitely can, too.

He glanced at Yeonjun, but Yeonjun didn’t say anything to deny Huening Kai’s statement. Instead, he just stared at Taehyun, the corner of his mouth went upward just a bit. Taehyun looked away.

“Do you want some?” Yeonjun offered him a chocolate bar out of nowhere, a mint choco flavor.

Taehyun accepted it. “Why do you always give me mint choco flavor?” Not always, but almost.

“You don’t like it?”

He didn’t, but he wasn’t going to break anyone’s heart here (if it even involved heart-kind of feelings, Taehyun wasn’t quite sure) so he said, “It’s fine…”

He unwrapped the bar carefully, Yeonjun already shoved a whole of it into his mouth.

“Mint choco reminds me of you,” Yeonjun said, chewing slowly as if he was savoring the minty sweet taste Taehyun in the middle of tasting now.

“Why? Because I’m cold?”

Yeonjun chuckled. “No. Because mint choco is my favorite.”

Suddenly all mint choco flavored things didn’t taste so horrible to Taehyun.

* * *

On Monday, Yeonjun’s hair already changed to black, since their school only tolerated dark colors for hair. Taehyun was kind of disappointed.

* * *

Even though Yeonjun didn’t say anything when he stayed with Taehyun at the club room, Taehyun found it harder to ignore him and focus on his writings as usual. But he knew Yeonjun stayed longer now, taking out his homework and working it beside Taehyun.

Taehyun went from acknowledging Yeonjun, talked to him sometimes about the most random things, and ended up worked on his homework together with Yeonjun, his writings always left halfway written somewhere in his journals or laptop.

They even improvised Seaweed’s basic needs now because Taehyun even emptied one part from a shelf in the club for the sake of keeping the kitten’s food, blanket, small toys and some other tiny necessities there. All of which they bought with their shared money between Taehyun and Yeonjun.

_“It’s like secretly parenting,”_ Yeonjun once joked but Taehyun ignored it for the sake of calming his oddly fast beating heart.

His dreams started to fill with crescent shaped eyes that accompanied with lopsided smile.

* * *

“He hasn’t asked you out yet?” Samuel asked, incredulous, as they sat on the stone steps around the basketball court.

“Who?” Taehyun asked back, slowly averting his gaze from Yeonjun who was playing the game with his friends.

“Choi Yeonjun, who else!”

“Why should he ask me out?”

Samuel closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jisung, please take over.”

Jisung smiled and placed a hand on Taehyun’s arm. “We’re pretty sure he likes you, Taehyunnie. I mean, he’s been hanging around you awfully a lot, isn’t he? And well, his behavior during the basketball match pretty much gave it away. We heard his team members been complaining about him skipped practices quite numerous times just to be at the newspaper club with you and even his ex-girlfriend lost her chances tryna get close to him again.”

“He has an ex-girlfriend?” Taehyun can’t help but ask. Just _because_.

“Duh, remember the bitches who kept on giving you murderous glares at the match?” Huening Kai interjected and it didn’t take Taehyun long enough to remember them. One from the three girls was particularly snarky at him. Yeah. That might be _the_ ex-girlfriend.

“Why did they break up?” Again, his mouth was running without filter.

“Dunno, but pretty sure it was a long time ago. Since Yeonjun sunbae was a sophomore. They broke up end of the second year, I heard.” Samuel informed, always so ahead on this kind of gossip since he was the only one within their group with large external connection around the school.

_See? He doesn’t want you to have cavities. He likes you_ , Taehyun’s mind supplied, satisfied.

“Like? _Like_ , like…like Huening likes Soobin sunbae?” Taehyun just frowned at the stones under the steps. The shapes were all different. Of course there was no crescent shape.

“Probably not as much as I like Soobin hyung,” Taehyun thought Huening Kai wasn’t paying attention, with the way he eyed Soobin from beside Jisung. “But yeah, that kind of _like_ , Taehyunnie.”

Taehyun kept quiet.

Jisung asked, “Do you like him too?”

“…Huh?”

Yeonjun shot three points and he turned to Taehyun with a proud, almost childish look on his face.

Taehyun’s heart made a thud upon that innocent smile.

_Opsss,_ his mind went. _That’s new_.

* * *

“If you have some time, want to go and eat something?” Yeonjun asked after they finished their homework, ready to go home with Seaweed tucked safely back in her box. Taehyun blinked at the question, and Yeonjun was staring.

“Where to?” Taehyun found himself asking.

“What about crepes? I know a place. They also sell sandwich, if you don’t feel like eating something sweet.”

Taehyun nodded.

They didn’t stay to eat at the café, eating their crepes while walking slowly towards Taehyun’s house—Yeonjun said he’d take him home. Yeonjun chose mint choco while Taehyun ate banana and Nutella filling. Yeonjun shared some of his choco pieces to Taehyun.

Taehyun stared upon the melting choco on his crepes, remembering their conversation after the basketball match, also Jisung’s words and question yesterday. He turned to Yeonjun, who just licked off cream from the corner of his mouth. His lips seemed reddish from here.

“Yeonjun hyung.”

“Taehyunnie.”

“Do you like me?”

“Hmm,” Yeonjun bit his thick lower lip and Taehyun tried not to stare. “I believe I do.”

“Why? Why me?”

“Because you’re adorable.”

Taehyun often wrote about characters getting all flushed red when they were embarrassed and he always wondered if that was a real thing, because even when he was flustered his skin remained the same—milk yellow. But now he felt hot on his cheeks and he wanted to see himself in the mirror. Yeonjun kindly told him, though.

“You’re red now,” he beamed. “I like it.”

“I’m not adorable,” finally Taehyun said after he found his tongue.

“Because you don’t see what I see.”

“What do you see?”

“When you write? When you’re absorbed with your work, you made a lot of facial expressions. Sometimes you’re frowning hard. The other times you simply look serious, and my favorite is when you smile. It makes me want to read what you write. Or, you know, kiss you or something.”

Taehyun stumbled on his legs but Yeonjun caught his arm before he could fall flat on the ground. Taehyun didn’t look at Yeonjun.

They didn’t exchange any words either after that, Yeonjun was busy with his crepe and Taehyun’s unfinished crepe while Taehyun was busy with his mind. When they arrived at Taehyun’s house, Yeonjun already finished both of their crepes and he shoved his hands into his pockets, waiting for Taehyun to get in.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Yeonjun said, the lopsided smile was on his face again.

Taehyun stood still in his place, facing Yeonjun. _He’s tall. He’ll need to lower down if he wants to kiss me._ “I’ve never…”

Yeonjun raised his brows.

“…kissed,” Taehyun finished his sentence.

The smile on Yeonjun’s face was growing slowly until it bloomed to a full grin. “It’s that an invitation or a permission?”

Taehyun didn’t answer, and it seemed like it didn’t matter for Yeonjun either, because he was staring at Taehyun differently. He lowered his head and he tilted it sideway, moving closer to Taehyun and closing the gap between them.

Taehyun felt a lot of things at once when Yeonjun’s lips were on his own.

His stomach clenched. He could feel his heart beat like crazy. He was a little bit dizzy. Yeonjun’s lips were soft, but his breath was hot on his face. And there was something cold, and sweet, and refreshing. Maybe it was the mint choco, but mostly it was…

Yeonjun retreated back.

“…mint choco,” Taehyun breathed out. He looked up at Yeonjun. “It wasn’t my favorite before, but now I like it.”

Yeonjun beamed. “That’s good, then,” he chuckled, the same comment he gave when Taehyun told him he liked writing.

When Yeonjun ducked down to kiss him again, Taehyun wondered whether he liked mint choco or he liked the kiss. Maybe both.

Maybe he liked the kiss better.

_Or, you know, maybe you simply like Yeonjun._

* * *

“Eyy, what is this,” Beomgyu complained jokingly, “If I say hi to anyone, would I get a kiss too?”

The complaint came from how Yeonjun said ‘Hi’ to Taehyun and Taehyun replied with another ‘Hi’ before Yeonjun pecked his cheek, sitting down beside him to eat their lunch together with their friends.

Yeonjun stole a meatball from Taehyun’s plate. “Go try it then,” he nodded to Jisung who sat beside Beomgyu.

“Hi!” Beomgyu greeted greasily, lowering his voice and wriggling his eyebrows, then added a wink by the end.

Jisung rolled his eyes while the rest of the table erupted with laughter.

“It’s not working if you’re not Yeonjun, man,” Jimin patted his shoulder. “Or Soobin,” he waved his hand to Soobin, who shook his head after his friends’ antics.

“I can do that too?” Soobin asked and Jimin raised his thumb in encouragement. “Then…,” Soobin turned to Huening Kai in front of him, “Hi?”

Huening Kai choked on his food while Soobin smirked (‘ _he fucking smirked, shut’_ —was written all over Huening Kai’s reddening face). The president offered his glass of water to him.

Yeonjun rested his head on Taehyun’s shoulder, chuckling and he could feel his body vibrated beside him.

“Can I ask for a help?” He enquired quietly just so only Yeonjun can hear him. Yeonjun turned his head until his chin was resting on Taehyun’s shoulder, their faces were so close and if Taehyun only tilted his jaw a bit, he can perhaps, peck his nose or something.

Taehyun gulped on his food, because not that he was going to do it. At least not here.

“Sure, what is it?” His breath was warm on his skin.

“They’re closing in the club room since it’s approaching winter break and there will be construction next to it to renovate the building,” Taehyun explained. “So can you help me make a copy of my writings in the club laptop? I can’t make it there after school. I have to conduct interview with some locals for my article.”

“Of course,” Yeonjun agreed easily, continued to chew on another meatball which Taehyun fed to him. “Me and Seaweed will miss you, though.”

Taehyun didn’t reply anything to do that, hiding his flushed cheeks down to his tray.

He had mint choco lollipop for his dessert that day.

And a mint choco-tasted kiss right before he went on with the interview.

* * *

Remember the writing contest held by Daily Updates? The results for the winners were finally out, featured and printed by the very front page of the local newspaper and everyone congratulated Taehyun for coming up as the first runner-up.

Yet as soon as he read the finished piece of the contest winner, he felt himself grow pale.

“Hi, baby,” a pair of hands circled around his waist while he stood facing the billboard where the news article was pasted by his club member. The rest of the gang was cheering upon the result around them, but Taehyun can’t seem to share their enthusiasm. Not at all. “Congratulations. You did well,” Yeonjun’s voice was deep and adoring when he murmured to him.

“Someone stole my work.”

That flattened all the smiles Yeonjun had on his face.

“What?” Slowly, he turned Taehyun around until he was facing him with deep frowns. “What do you mean?”

Taehyun refused to meet his eyes. He felt really, really confused…and _terrible_ now.

“The piece that won the first place, that was also my work,” he thought he should excuse himself from here, because his eyes were growing cloudy and he didn’t want anybody to see him cry, especially not Yeonjun. “I didn’t send in that one as my entry because I was saving it in case I got to further enter the contest at State level…”

Yeonjun studied him carefully, tone wary. “But now it’s out? Someone stole it, sent it in and won as first place?”

Taehyun breathed out a weak “Yeah…”

When Yeonjun let him go for the sake of stepping up closer to the board and maybe checking the name of the winner, Taehyun took the chance to make a run out of there, causing their friends to pause mid-chatting, some even called out his name confusedly.

Taehyun ignored it all.

All he needed now was to be alone.

He was sure hiding in the club room would result to Yeonjun and his friends easily finding him so he chose to go straight to basketball team’s locker room, sitting in one of the cubicles in their bathroom while he tried to calm himself down.

To say he was upset would be an understatement.

He had been working hard for the contest.

Even when he didn’t come up as the winner, what made it even worse was that someone had the audacity to steal his _other_ work and send it in under their own name. He didn’t have to guess why that person did such despicable thing. The winner was none other than Yeonjun’s ex-girlfriend who kept on shooting him daggers through her glares if she so much saw Taehyun along school corridor, even more so after he started dating Choi Yeonjun.

Taehyun sighed, dropping his head into his hands as he closed his eyes.

_This is a mistake. Maybe I shouldn’t have dated_ —

A soft mewl startled him out of his conflicted thoughts.

It came from outside the bathroom and Taehyun was so familiar with the tiny sound that he didn’t hesitate to get up and walk out to find the source of the mewling.

He stepped out to where all the lockers were lining up in rows to see Seaweed sat curling under one of the benches. And amidst his disappointment, he still managed to smile.

“You found me huh?” Taehyun said while he picked the kitten up into his lap and lowered himself on the bench. He found comfort in her company, absentmindedly running his hand through her smooth fur while she snuggled closer into his tummy until laughter boomed through the entrance and for a second, Taehyun contemplated running back into the bathroom.

He didn’t make it, however, when a group of girls already walking into the locker room—all dressed in their blue cheerleader uniform. Taehyun froze in his place and his eyes unhelpfully fell straight upon the source of all his current misery now: Yeonjun’s ex-girlfriend.

“Oh! Look who’s here,” she smiled so shamelessly as if she didn’t do anything wrong to him. “Are you waiting for Yeonjunnie, loverboy?”

Taehyun’s blunt side couldn’t help but slip out a “I didn’t know you can write.”

The rest of the girls burst into hysterical laughter. All of their eyes were sharp and predatory upon him, he guessed they all knew about his relationship with Yeonjun. She shrugged and stepped closer to him, hands already folded defensively across her chest.

“Shocking huh? But Yeonjun was kind enough to give me a pendrive yesterday when we went out on a date—”

“What—”

“—and I found this _real_ _good_ story written in it so I thought, why not send it in? That could help with my portfolio if I win and guess what? I really won!”

Taehyun was utterly, absolutely speechless.

“Ah by the way,” the girl said something, but he wasn’t paying attention anymore. All he could think off was how he asked for Yeonjun’s help to copy his work from the laptop and how all this mess was finally connected. “I heard you won as first runner-up too. Congrats!”

Giving her no reply at all, Taehyun stood up and marched out passing the girls who gasped at him for ignoring their cheerleader captain. He heard some were calling him names like _‘nerd’_ or _‘loser’_ yet Taehyun blocked it all until he cornered around the building and almost bumped into someone running to this way.

Taehyun sorely looked up. It was Yeonjun.

He didn’t want to see his face.

Not now. Not _ever_.

“Taehyunnie, you—”

“We’re over.”

Yeonjun took an audible gulp from his panting, frowning at him. “Wh—what?”

“I’m not sure if you think I’m merely a joke or something. But I want you to know that _this_ ,” he gestured back and forth between them, “ends in every way possible. Don’t come to the club room again.”

Taehyun shifted his furious eyes away from him and tried to step aside, yet Yeonjun was quick to stop him. “Wait, wait, wait. Taehyunnie, I just—I don’t understand, what do you mean—”

“I know you gave my work to her,” Taehyun snapped, glaring up to Yeonjun’s confused face. “What—who?”

“Don’t act dumb. You gave my work to your ex-girlfriend—or should I say _still_ your girlfriend ‘cuz you went out on a date with her? She told me,” Taehyun really wanted to cry but he held it in stubbornly. “That was quite a move, maybe this is all a dumb bet you made with her and your whole wannabe friends like they all always do in bad romcom—”

“No, no, no. Hold on, Taehyunnie—”

“—but I’m done being your toy so, yeah. Just stay away from me.”

And before Yeonjun could respond with anything, Taehyun already turned and ran away to opposite side.

* * *

There was just one more day of school left before winter break. Taehyun didn’t go. He told his friends he caught a cold, and none asked him any further aside from reminding him to get enough rest.

* * *

**Yeonjun hyungie:**

Taehyunnie?

Pls

Can we talk?

**[read]**

**Yeonjun sunbae:**

Taehyun, baby

I know you probably don’t wanna talk to me

And I understand you need time alone

But I didn’t do it, baby

I swear

I copied all your work into my cloud storage

All is online

And it’s password protected

Istg, baby, I didn’t leak anything to anyone

And me & my ex, we’re ancient

It’s long over

Whatever she said to you, it’s all lies

Pls

Believe me

**[read]**

**Yeonjun sunbae:**

Baby?

Can I come over?

Pls, I really need to talk to you

**[read]**

**Yeonjun sunbae:**

Taehyunnie, I came over just now

Your mom said you’re not home

Text me once you’re back

I really need to see you

**[read]**

He was home. Taehyun was just giving excuses because every time he recalled the satisfied, sinister grin Yeonjun’s ex had, his heart ached all over.

He thought it was better not to meet.

**Yeonjun sunbae:**

Baby…

Are we really doing this?

Are we really breaking up just because of this?

Pls baby, we need to talk

We can fix this

Don’t let others break us apart, baby

**[read]**

He couldn’t take it anymore, all the messages and the unanswered calls and the excuses he had to keep on giving to his mother whenever Yeonjun came over. So with a groan, Taehyun clicked the button.

**Yeonjun sunbae:**

**[the number is blocked]**

* * *

**’02 Cuties <3**

**Samuel:**

Hey guys

Haven’t heard from yall along the break

Is everyone doing okay?

Especially you, Taehyunnie

Are you feeling well?

**Hueningie:**

Sammy!!

I’m fine~

TMI: I went out on ski date with Soobin hyung~

**Samuel:**

What WAIT !???

Spill the TEA

I want every detail!!!

**Jisung:**

Hi, boys.

I’m fine ^^

Congrats to our baby Hueningie~ <33

**Me:**

Me too

I’m feeling well already

Dw

**Samuel:**

Aww, glad to hear that sweetie <3

But Hyunnie, what happened with you & Yeonjun hyung?

You know…ever since the issue with the contest…

Taehyun dreaded to reply. But these were his friends, and he didn’t want to hide anything from them. The trio got the gist how Taehyun was fighting with Yeonjun and someone stole his work and won the contest with it yet they were yet to know the entire truth.

So with a heavy sigh, Taehyun began typing, retelling everything to his friends.

**Jisung:**

Omg…

Taehyunnie :(

**Hueningie:**

Taehyunnie…

I’m so sorry

TT

**Jisung:**

Do you want us to come over?

**Hueningie:**

Yeah, we can hang around and watch movies

I’ll bring over popcorns!!

**Me:**

Nah, I’m fine

But thank you for the thoughts, guys

I appreciate it :)

**Samuel:**

Hyun

Are you sure it’s all true?

What if the girl was lying just for this to happen?

She obviously wanted you to break up with Yeonjun hyung

And I don’t think Yeonjun hyung would do that to you

Why would he anyways?

He had no motive whatsoever to hurt you…

**Me:**

Sammy, don’t you see it?

He’s Choi Yeonjun.

The school’s IT boy

While I’m just this quiet, antisocial kid who hides in the club room all day long with my journals

He has no reason to date a person like me in the first place

Unless he had a mission whatsoever

And now I found out about it

He just wanted some fun

**Jisung:**

Hmmm…

But actually think about it again, Sammy is kinda right though

He might have been a little too perfect compared to you

But have you seen the way he looked at you?

**Me:**

Like what?

**Hueningie:**

Like you’re the reason the stars and the moons exist, Hyunnie

Sammy is right, I think

You should talk to him

**Me:**

But…

**Samuel:**

It’s alright, baby

If you don’t wanna talk now, just wait until the school’s open

You still got plenty of time to think it over

We just want you to be happy, Hyunnie.

And you look genuinely happy whenever you’re around him

**Me:**

????

**Jisung:**

That’s true.

I haven’t seen you ate that many mint choco products without complaining :D

Think about it, yeah?

**Hueningie:**

Yes!!!

I agree!!!

And btw, Hyunnie

How about Seaweed?

Have you taken her home with you?

The construction starts tomorrow, I heard

It’s dangerous to leave her there alone near the club room

**Me:**

Ah, yes

About that

OK

I’ll go and pick her up tomorrow

Thanks for reminding me about her

And about Yeonjun sunbae…

**Samuel:**

Pls

He likes you, okay?

Just don’t be stupid & talk it out

If you give others the power to ruin what’s precious to you, then that’s where you’ll regret it

_That’s where you’ll regret it…_

Will he regret it? Shutting Yeonjun out like this as if all the ‘Hi’, candies exchange, and time spent together in the club room with Seaweed never existed?

Taehyun pushed his phone away and lay back down over his bed. He was always smart when it came to solving exam problems, every fact and figure written over the papers were so easy to decipher. Yet when it came to this, to heart and feelings, Taehyun was rendered as a failure.

And he didn’t like that, at all.

* * *

He found Seaweed exactly in her boxy home the next day when he came to pick her up.

Taehyun immediately cooed, squatting down to scoop her up, and as if she had been waiting for him as well, Seaweed didn’t wait to jump out the box and waddle over to his feet.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured down to her while she snuggled to his chest, rubbing her head and front paws against his winter coat. “I should have taken you home with me before break started.”

She gazed up to him with her dual-colored eyes and tilted her head around, as if looking for someone as well. Taehyun swallowed.

“Don’t look for him,” Taehyun pushed away all thoughts about Yeonjun out of his head and stood back up. “It’s just you and me now.”

He felt silly, considering the idea to look after the kitten began with the senior.

Seaweed meowed something, which Taehyun ignored it for the sake of turning around but then he remembered all of her necessities were still in the club room, kept in the storage.

“Ah…” he glanced back and stared upon the closed window, wondering how he can get inside when everything was locked along the school break.

Taehyun stepped back up, walking until he stopped right before the window and tried to pull it apart. Of course, it was locked as expected. He considered going to ask for the key from the school admin but then—

“Hey, kid. Are you trying to break inside too?”

Taehyun turned around to frown just in time to see a man already stood nearby a tree over there. He recognized his one-piece suit as one of the construction workers from the building they were renovating nearby.

“What do you mean?”

The man shrugged. “Saw a girl before. She broke into that room too through the same window. You kids keep some valuable treasure or what in there?” He asked through a teasing laughter yet all Taehyun could focus on was upon the mention of the girl and breaking in.

Eagerly, he looked up to him. “You said a girl? How did she look like?”

It only took a description of blue varsity sweater with mini blue skirt for Taehyun to confirm that was indeed the standard uniform for the cheerleaders. And there was no other cheerleader who would want to break into this club room so bad and steal his work other than Yeonjun’s ex-girlfriend.

Taehyun walked back home slowly, yet his head was racing way faster.

So it was true.

It wasn’t Yeonjun who gave her the copy.

She got it herself, betrayed him and attempted to break them apart.

Taehyun stared for a long time upon the blocked number in his phone. It had been two weeks solid since the last text, since Yeonjun tried to talk to him. If he contacted him now, would he get any response…at all?

Seaweed climbed into his lap and it was all Taehyun could do, to push his phone aside and cuddle her close to his chest.

Taehyun spent the rest of the evening crying in his bed.

He was so stupid.

And Kang Taehyun was too ashamed to admit it.

* * *

He woke up to more than a hundred text messages flooding the group chat with his friends.

Taehyun was baffled.

And when he got down for breakfast, his mother’s eyes were teary.

He opened his mouth, about to ask but then—

He saw the news.

* * *

_Choi Yeonjun, 18, caught in fire when he was found dead and suspected been trapped in a club room at his school. The fire accidentally spread from the construction at the building next to it and was suspected to occur from some leaked gasoline…_

Taehyun didn’t hear the rest of the news.

His whole body dropped down to the floor and only the shout from his mother was heard.

* * *

It had been a week since the funeral, and Taehyun still didn’t attend school.

He considered throwing away his phone so he needed not to keep on rereading his messages with him. He even thought of quitting the newspaper club, and perhaps, quit writing all along.

The club room wasn’t there anymore after all.

Everything was burned down to pieces.

The news articles, his favorite seat by the window, _him_ …

Taehyun wanted to throw every single thing that could remind him of _that_ boy.

So for one last time, he unblocked the number.

He wasn’t expecting anything until, until—

Messages were flooding his phone with nonstop pings.

**Yeonjun sunbae:**

158 unread messages

35 missed calls

With a shaky breath, Taehyun clicked upon the latest text delivered.

**Yeonjun sunbae:**

Taehyunnie

This is might be the last time

But I still want to try

If you still feel the same for me, please come see me at the club room next morning

Let’s fix this

I miss you and Seaweed

So much

And we should figure out who would keep Seaweed at home while the construction going on

Please?

I miss you

And I’m sorry

For everything

It was sent exactly the day before the news, the same day Taehyun came to pick Seaweed up and found out about the whole truth.

Taehyun remembered crying so hard that night.

He didn’t check his phone.

He didn’t know—

If only he didn’t block him, if only he checked his phone a day earlier, he could have stopped him. He could have stopped Yeonjun from going to the club room and he won’t—

He lost him.

Throwing away his phone, Taehyun broke into a loud, messy sob.

It was all he could do now.

* * *

“Hyung, how does one forgive himself?”

* * *

Taehyun is pulled out of his sleep with a seemingly harsh tug that he almost falls down his chair.

Clearing his throat, he collects himself enough to steadily sit back onto his chair and look around. Somehow, he’s still in his cubicle at his office though it’s already entirely dark except for the lamp on his table.

He blinks, feeling his face is damp all over with drying tears.

Looking back upon the black screen of his laptop, Taehyun switches it back on and the first page that greets him is the website: **Santa Box.**

That’s when he realizes it’s only a dream.

A dream of everything that happened to him 7 years ago in high school.

Taehyun and the boy, Choi Yeonjun.

Letting out a weak sigh, he shakily wipes his tears and reaches over for his phone.

**Hueningie:**

Are you coming this Saturday, Hyun?

Taehyun finally, finally gives it a reply.

**Me:**

Yes.

See you soon.

It’s been 7 years, and Chaeryeong is right, he needs a closure.

And Taehyun thinks this reunion is going to be the best way to forgive it all and start over again.

* * *

Taehyun watches as all the trees and roads blurring into one linear movement as the train he’s riding on zoomed along the scenery outside.

He’s still thinking about _that_.

The closer he is to his old high school, the frequent his mind is replaying that day over and over again.

That day, as soon as he found out about the truth, Taehyun wished he would have rushed straight to meet Yeonjun.

No need to unblock him or check his phone.

He just needed to find him straight from the school.

* * *

“Hey, kid. Are you trying to break inside too?”

Taehyun turns around to frown just in time to see a man already stands nearby a tree over there. He recognizes his one-piece suit as one of the construction workers from the building they are renovating nearby.

“What do you mean?”

The man shrugs. “Saw a girl before. She broke into that room too through the same window. You kids keep some valuable treasure or what in there?” He asks through a teasing laughter yet all Taehyun could focus on is upon the mention of the girl and breaking in.

Eagerly, he looks up to him. “You said a girl? How did she look like?”

It only takes a description of blue varsity sweater with mini blue skirt for Taehyun to confirm that is indeed the standard uniform for the cheerleaders. And there is no other cheerleader who would want to break into this club room so bad and steal his work other than Yeonjun’s ex-girlfriend.

Taehyun walks back home slowly, yet his head is racing way faster.

So it’s true.

It isn’t Yeonjun who gave her the copy.

She got it herself, betrayed him and attempted to break them apart.

And before Taehyun could stop himself, his legs already breaking into a run, clutching Seaweed tight to his chest and rushing down the roads until he finds himself panting before a house. Yeonjun’s house.

He doesn’t know how to do this.

Should he ring the bell or knock on the door?

Or should he call him first?

But, no, he’s blocked his number so—

The front door cracks open a jar and someone steps outside. Taehyun peers up just in time Yeonjun freezes on the steps.

They stare upon each other for a while before Taehyun takes broad steps up the stairs and only stops once he has trapped Yeonjun into his arm, one hand still holding Seaweed and crushing her in between their chests.

She snarls in protest yet Taehyun ignores it for the sake of holding Yeonjun tighter.

“What—”

“I’m so sorry, hyung.”

He feels Yeonjun stiffen even more.

Taehyun doesn’t look at his face, choosing instead to hide into Yeonjun’s neck and sniffle there. The more he talks, the harder he sobs.

“Forgive me, hyung. I shouldn’t have doubted you. I know now it’s not your fault. Your ex-girlfriend plotted it all. I’m so sorry. So sorry. Just please, don’t ever leave me.”

“Hey, hey, Taehyunnie—”

“I just—I feel so terrible. I keep on missing you, and even when I blocked your number, I keep on thinking about no one but you. I—”

Taehyun feels his entire body trembling and it only reduces once Yeonjun closes his arms around him, holding Taehyun safe and sound.

He cries harder in relief.

“Hey, baby…”

“I like you, hyung. I really, really like you. And I was so jealous and mad. That’s why I pushed you away and shut you out. I’m such a terrible person—”

“You’re not, darling.”

Taehyun falls silent, pushing his face deeper against Yeonjun’s skin when he feels gentle fingers combing through his hair. Yeonjun’s breath is warm and soothing when he leans close into his ear and whispers to him.

“I know, Taehyun. It’s alright. Everything’s okay now. I like you too, so much.”

Slowly, a large palm is cupped to his cheek and he’s moved to pull away until he can stare up straight to Yeonjun, face messy with snort and tears and he probably looks as horrible as he’s still feeling yet Yeonjun’s smile remains loving while he stares back on him.

Taehyun doesn’t understand how he gets so lucky.

Comforting fingers wipe dry his tears and a kiss is dropped onto his forehead.

“Hi.”

Yeonjun greets him.

Taehyun cracks a thin smile through his sniffling.

“Hi.”

And it feels like he can breathe again.

* * *

_“This is how you forgive yourself, baby.”_

* * *

Taehyun wakes up finding himself already at the train station, arriving exactly in the town where it’s all started.

He blinks while standing up, getting down to the platform and recalling back to his dream.

He doesn’t know why but it feels so vibrant.

As if it really did happen.

Taehyun finds himself chuckling alone.

_Impossible._

And as promised, he continues to make way straight to the karaoke place where the reunion is scheduled to happen.

Taehyun is then greeted with warm hugs and cheerful greetings as soon as he arrives there. Of course there is Huening Kai, he’s a whole model now. Samuel is a fashion designer with his own clothing line. Jisung is a teacher, greeting him warmly with his eyes-smile. He misses them so much.

Then he catches sight of the seniors: Beomgyu, Jimin, Soobin (who actually attending this hand in hand with Huening Kai), Wooyoung and—

Taehyun couldn’t believe his eyes.

He is blinking them so hard.

“Hi.”

Taehyun stares in major disbelief upon the man standing in front of him.

Blue hair and foxy hooded eyes, in his tight ripped jeans, beige boots and simple white tee over a leather jacket.

His eyes dart from side to side. No one is around them, not around him, not around the other man. Unmistakably, the man—Choi Yeonjun—is talking to him, Kang Taehyun.

“Um…hi?”

Yeonjun smiles, a lopsided one. Then, “How are you?”

Taehyun breaks into tears, to which Yeonjun gasp before he quickly pulls him into his embrace.

Finally, _finally_.

* * *

**_Welcome to Santa Box 2019!_ **

****

**_Drop your wish here:_ **

**I wish to see him again.**

**I wish I could see him again, even just for once. I want to tell him I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have been so terrified of my feelings because if I hadn’t…he would have still been here.**

**I miss him. So much.**

_**Santa Box 2019:** _

**CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR WISH IS ACCEPTED!**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! <3**

**Author's Note:**

> so....hi, Lex. I don't know how bittersweet is bittersweet so i hope this is...enough?
> 
> Anyways, i hope everyone could enjoy this! Hope this is tolerable enough to be read and honestly: UNBETA-ED whatsoever  
> Special thanks to:  
> -Lex (ao3:thelandscaper, twitter:@godtyun) ---> prompt owner  
> -taejun gc


End file.
